Marry me?
by Lady Hallen
Summary: "Marry me?" Tsuna asked Kyouya. Or the fic where Tsuna knows Kyouya's weakness and ruthlessly takes advantage of it.
1. Chapter 1

**The prompt was: "Tsuna at fourteen, asks for a Hibari's hand in marriage."**

 **Warnings: Excess of Cute, Poor Reborn.**

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If Kyouya were a lesser man, the expression on his face would be described as flabbergasted. But Kyouya was not a lesser man. He glared instead.

"Herbivore, start making sense," he snapped.

Tsunayoshi, the bane of his existence ever since the Herbivore noticed his weakness for cute and fluffy things, blinked his large doe eyes and snuffled.

"Marry me," Tsunayoshi repeated. "Please?"

Not even a blink. He was secretly impressed by the Herbivores nerves.

"Nevermind that we are not of age yet," he said dismissively. "Why?"

Tsuna's eyes gleamed with unshed tears. It stuck on his eyelashes like diamonds. Kyouya's breath caught in his throat.

"Please?" he asked with a wobbly voice.

Damn.

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Tsuna absolutely did not want to be a man.

Ever since his father's last visit, it's the only thing he can think about.

If being a man meant being an unreliable person like his dad, he most certainly did not want to be a man. Women were nicer. They wore nice dresses, cooked amazing food and people wanted to protect them.

When he explained this to Hana and Kyoko, they both giggled but didn't disagree, which meant he was right. Technically, he was only half right. Hana told him that women weren't _that_ protected. If you wanted to have a constant protector, you'd have a husband.

A husband, Kyoko explained, had to be strong. It wasn't really Tsuna's Mama's fault that she chose an unreliable husband. So Tsuna had to choose someone better than his father.

This sort of logic leads him to try finding one, but all men he would meet as he grew up weren't strong.

Then, he met Kyouya in Middle School.

(" _Tsuna, NO"_ , Hana hissed under her breath

"Tsuna, YES," Kyoko laughed.)

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Kyouya had relatives. He had a lot of relatives. If the world really knew how many Hibari's there were in the world, they would be a lot more nervous. A lot of those Hibari's dabbled in both sides of the law.

That's why it's very easy to get married illegally. A single phone call to one uncle, another to a distant cousin and the paperwork is faxed to them within the day.

Meanwhile, Kyouya's Mother found out and there is a wedding.

There's even no mention at all of the courting period. Nobody mentions that at all. Just going, "Aww, what a lovely couple."

This was why Kyouya has lost faith in humanity. UGH.

Still, it's not a hardship to marry the Little Animal.

Marriage meant someone cooking for him, and cleaning the house and taking care of the garden so he didn't have to ask Kusakabe to do it.

("Kyouya, do you really think that's all I do?" his mother asked with a smile full of teeth.

His father, tellingly, does not answer.)

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Weirdly enough, there were no overt signs to point out that both of them were married.

Kyouya found that wearing rings impeded with his ability to punch people if he lost his tonfas. Tsuna was too clumsy and was smart enough to realize that if he did wear his ring for longer than an hour, he would likely lose it somewhere.

Still, there were perks to being married.

Nobody could bully Tsuna anymore. There were always eyes watching him now. Always. Anyone else would have filed for a divorce already and moved to another country (which wouldn't have done them any good, there were Hibari's _everywhere)_ , but Tsuna just nodded and smiled.

And Kyouya had someone soft to cuddle to. He could grab Tsuna anytime during lunch breaks and have somebody warm to sleep with who didn't make any noise. Tsuna was a very soothing presence.

Though neither of them really noticed it, Kyouya had an overwhelming amount of Cloud Flames. He used it to unconsciously propagate his strength, but the Cloud Flames felt the smothered Sky Flames and worked away at it with every opportunity.

With every cuddle, Tsuna woke up better and more refreshed.

That's why, when Reborn finally arrived in Namimori, Tsuna's eyes gleamed Amber.

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"The seal is gone," came the report.

"…what?"

"It's gone," was repeated. "It's like it was never there in the first place."

"How can that be? And how has he not been found if that's the case? He was leaking all over the place when I arrived!"

"…I'll investigate."

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Kyouya took one look at the baby on the doorstep, narrowed his eyes and said, "No."

He closed the door. He did not worry, the guards always took care of unwanted guests.

Because you see, long time ago, the Hibari's had an uncle.

That's it. The Hibari's still do have an uncle. Except, he doesn't come anymore to family reunions and the glimpses they do catch of him mark him as diminished. Cursed.

The Hibari's had an uncle who turned his back on them. On Family.

Any of their cursed ilk was not welcome.

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Reborn approached Tsuna in the street, because anywhere else was too well-guarded.

Then he told him, "You're going to be a mafia boss,"

Tsuna, having grown up with only Kyoko and Hana as friends, smiled. "A mafia wife!" he said with a smile. "How lovely. My husband will be very pleased."

Actually no, Kyouya will not.

Reborn doesn't splutter, because he's too dignified for that, but, "I said a boss. Are you deaf as well as stupid, Dame-Tsuna?"

There's a gleam of Amber, a satisfied smirk, before Tsuna started crying. Within _seconds_ , Hibari guards descend on Reborn.

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Reborn has to call back-up.

He called Fon.

That was a mistake.

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"You didn't tell me you had family," Reborn said accusingly.

Fon shrugged, patting the smoldering remains of his shirt. "They're…complicated. You simply don't _leave_ the Hibari. They're everywhere. You _can't_ avoid them. But they love strength. My form is much changed. They would have hunted down the Man in the Iron Hat and burned down the world. My family is a bit excessive when they don't care of the collateral damage."

Reborn blinked. And he thought he had a complicated family.

"Have they forgiven you, do you think? I really don't like to break contract and Tsunayoshi is living with them," Reborn muttered.

Fon stumbled. "What?" he asked. People don't just _live_ with the Hibari.

"Tsunayoshi?" Reborn clarified. "Sawada's son. I'm supposed to teach him to become a mafia boss."

Fon sat down in a hurry. "Reborn," he said urgently. "Tsunayoshi? Yay high, fluffy hair, big smile? Reborn, he's married to my many-times grand nephew. On record, he's officially Hibari Tsuna."

The implications finally hit Reborn.

"..He said he would be a mafia wife," he muttered. "He'd…put his husband in power?"

Fon wanted to crawl away and die, but that would be beneath his dignity. He just smiled vacantly, imagining his cute little Kyouya with all the feral strength that marked Hibari's and backed by the monstrous reach of the Vongola and the Hibari Clan. His eyes glazed over.

"I'm going to take a vacation," Fon said faintly. "I'm fairly certain I'll be fine in the Sahara."

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"My Tsuna-fishie is _married?_ " Iemitsu wailed.

Nonno blinked. "Oh. Is the girl a suitable wife?"

Reborn twitched. He had gone to Italy himself to deliver the news, mostly because there were some news people should hear in person. Honestly though, he just wanted to watch the chaos happen.

"You misunderstand me," Reborn said. "Tsunayoshi _married into_ the Hibari Clan. He did not marry a girl. In fact, from my surveillance, I'm pretty sure he's the girl in this equation."

Iemitsu's wailing reached a crescendo. Reborn's eyelid throbbed. A beat, then he finally draws his gun.

Nonno's mouth hung open in shock. Ganauche behind him choked on hysterical laughter, offset by a background of gunshots.

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In the Hibari house, Tsuna snuggled into his affectionate husband.

"Is it really alright not to welcome your Uncle home?" he asked. "It's the first time he's been seen in years, right?"

Kyouya pouted. He did not want to talk about other men when in bed with his husband.

"He's not yet apologized," Kyouya sulked. "Or grovelled enough. Mother worried."

Tsuna conceded the point. "It was nice of Reborn to drag your uncle here though. And to give you guys exercise!"

Between the two Arcobaleno and the Hibari, it had indeed been an exercise. An exercise in restraint. If they hadn't, more than an acre of forest would have been destroyed.

Kyouya huffed and cuddled his Tsuna into submission.

It was a cute domestic scene straight from a Hallmark card. Both of them were utterly oblivious to the chaos happening outside their house.

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 **Please review.**

 **~hallen**

 **Edit: There will be a second chapter, wait a moment...(Snippets only, from prompts..)**


	2. Chapter 2

**What was going on behind the scenes in Chapter 1?**

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"This is all your fault," Hana said, rounding on Kyoko.

Kyoko, the villain, was laughing almost too hard to breathe.

"Hana-chan," she gasped. "He did it. He said he'd find a husband and he did it."

Kyoko was missing the point entirely. Hana wanted to pull out her hair.

"Kyoko," Hana said flatly. "You're missing the point. He's fourteen. We're fourteen. We're bridesmaids at _fourteen_."

That cracked up Kyoko again. "It's ridiculous," she giggled. "He'll wobble in front of an audience for class recitals. But what does he do to get married? He marches up to Hibari, calm as you please, and asks him."

Hana had not known that. Oh my God. In retrospect, that was hilarious.

"He's crazy," Hana sighed, resigned. "You're the reason we're friends with him. So this is your fault."

Kyoko just smiled.

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"Tsu-kun found a husband!" Nana exclaimed, pleased beyond words.

She clapped her hands and almost squealed. She restrained herself because Tsu-kun was looking exasperated.

"When's the wedding? Oh, mama has so many stories to tell about her own wedding," she sighed. "Can mama help? Who's planning it?"

Tsun-kun said, "Kyouya's Mother."

"What a kind woman to do it for you," Nana said.

"Yep. Completely the epitome of saint hood," Tsu-kun muttered under his breath.

Nana steamrolled over him. Planning weddings always left her in a good mood.

Briefly, she contemplated the thought of telling Iemitsu, before shrugging it away. If her dear hubby wanted to know, he'd visit more often.

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Kusakabe looked at the couple in front of him.

"Kusakabe," Kyo-san had told said. "I am marrying Tsunayoshi three days from now. Present yourself tomorrow to my mother for the final preparations."

He still hasn't wrapped his head around it. Kyo-san, married. If his self-preservation was any less developed, he would be laughing.

Except, it took a special sort of crazy to keep up with Kyo-san. What sort of person was Sawada Tsunayoshi to be the one to _propose_?

(Conveniently forgetting that he himself kept up with Kyouya on a daily basis as well.)

"It will be my pleasure to witness your wedding, Kyo-san."

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 **LMAO**

 **This is tumblr's fault.**

 **Review please.**

 **~hallen**

 **Edit: If y'all want to read a fic a bit like this, but not really, HeavenlyDusk in AO3 got inspired and wrote Trophy Husband. If y'all can't find it, I've got it bookmarked in my AO3 account, which is under LadyHallen.**


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